Hiatus Over! | Life Update

It’s been about a Month or two since I’ve actually sat down to write something. You could blame writer’s block, or you could blame pure laziness but none of those would really sum up the reason for this extended break.

I’m not even sure I can fully sum up the reason for this extended break. For my readers though, I can at least try.

I’m not sure if I’d say that my life has been hectic this past month, but to say that I’ve been slacking off would be a huge understatement. Even though I haven’t been writing, other things have been taking up my time.

For one, I got into a University! I will be attending Saint Cloud State University, Minnesota to study Hydrology in the fall. It’s been a dream of mine to study water since I was little, and I finally get to study the thing I love! So I’ve been running around the city, making sure that I have everything and emailing back and forth with different representatives from the school to get everything set for when I get over there.

The Whole 'going off to college' thing has kinda had me on edge. It's been rough for my mental health, worrying about what's gonna happen when I get over there. Will I make friends, will I do good in school? and if I don't do well in school what's gonna happen? What if something happens to me while I'm over there? My parents are gonna be stuck with the bill and I don't want that. What if I die? Then what would my parents do? Should I even be doing this at this point? They don't think I'm ready. Am I ready? Maybe I should just stay here and go to school here. What'll happen if I stay here?

Photo Courtesy www.stcloudstate.edu

And I basically think myself into a hole that's really, really hard to come out of. It usually cycles back to the existential crisis of my life which is "Does my life even really have a purpose" which can stay in my head for days.

So Yeah, I've been dealing with that.

In the midst of my almost daily anxiety attacks, these past few months have been all about making time for friends. So many of my friends came back home for summer vacation, and even if it was only a few days, a week or a month, I've been trying to pick myself up and spend time with them. Most of our plans never saw the light of day, but the idea of seeing my friends and just generally enjoying their company kinda cut through the worst of my bad spells.

We made plans to go to Caye, to go to the sports games that have been happening, to go for ice cream; none of which happened, but the idea of going had me all hyped up (or that could have been leftover adrenaline from going into flight mode while having anxiety). We stayed out late, just hanging out, enjoying sea breeze and talking to each other.

The point is, having good friends that know and understand what you're going through -physically or mentally- is great when you just need a pick me up to cut through the crap way you've been feeling. ShoutOut to the Hooligans and Kezia for making me feel better even if they didn't know it.

Commitments like the youth choir/youth group I'm a part of, All Saints Praise Team, have also been taking up a lot of my time. I really don't mind it, because it's something that breaks up the mundane. There are so many personalities in the Praise Team that it's impossible to not resonate with at least one person in there - if not the whole team. Our practices are some of the most enjoyable, yet excruciatingly frustrating experiences that I have ever had.

We've sung for the Anglican Diocese multiple times, a memorial service, and our Youth Sundays at our church. We also had our retreat, where we barely had internet for all of four days, but we had fun just being together and away from the rest of the world. We're a tight knit group, but we're open to new members. We might do some recruiting in the future, who knows? All I know is that I'm gonna miss this team when I go off to college.

(SO, try as I might I could not find any recent photos of the Praise Team. Because I don't want to embarrass anyone with the old pictures I DO have, I'm gonna leave this picture slot blank. Just imagine there's a picture of a praise team here. Okay? kay.)

(Oh and btw, you're welcome Praise Team. I found some seriously old pictures😂)

My cousins and I also tried -and are failing at- starting a youtube/instagram channel! It's been a ton of fun, even though we haven't put out any videos yet. Mostly because none of us can edit or at least figure out how to export more than 5 minutes of video. Either way, doing this with my cousins makes me feel like a kid again. Hanging out and just enjoying each other's company like we did in summers past.

Excuse me now, because I am going to shamelessly promote our joint Instagram account. If you can find the time, check out @501Kinks on IG. We haven't been very good admins at the moment, but I hope -and I mean really hope, I'm making no promises - that we can at least try to do better in posting.

(Also, if anybody knows a good free video editor that's not hard to use and can export more than 5 minutes of video, please leave it in the comments. We need the help...)

My life hasn't been hectic, or at least my physical life hasn't been. Mentally, for these few months, I haven't been all there. That is all going to change though! I'm kicking myself into high gear, getting motivated and trying to post more often. No promises though!

How's your life been? Have you been struggling with some things more than others? Vent in the comments below, they can be anonymous so don't worry about it getting out. I'll try to respond to some!

Thanks for Clicking,

Chey ❤