Feeling like an Island
It’s been... awkward living over here alone. Where no one knows you, or your family. Coming from a small country where everyone either knows you from your social media presence, school or your family ties, it’s been hard to be over here where you’re basically an island. I don’t have friends here. I speak to people, hang out with them. They’re acquaintances. I’m not someone who makes friends easily; I’m quiet and I overthink things a whole lot, but I’d like to think that I’m easy to talk to even if I don’t start a conversation first. I should probably say that I am also incredibly socially anxious. I try to avoid situations where I’d have to talk to people for prolonged amounts of times and I try not to be in crowded places, which means that I don’t leave my room very often. I actually don’t leave my room unless I have a good reason to, like classes or grocery shopping. I’m working on that.
I’ve been doing my best to not let my thoughts get the best of me. Trying to go somewhere new, or do something new every other week. Even though I’m still by myself when I try these new things, I don’t feel lonely. I don’t feel like an island. And when I miss my friends or my family, I know they’re only a phone call away. My family at least, my friends are almost always busy. For now, I’m counting down the weeks to when I get to go home. I’m counting the weeks until I get back to my familiarity, to my friends, to my family. I can’t wait to get back to my Praise Team, my church, my neighborhood. I can’t wait to stop feeling like an island.
